Show Don’t Tell
We have been learning about the Show Don’t Tell strategy for writing. We know that it is important to add detail to show the reader what is happening rather than just telling the reader straight out in a simplified version.
The room was very messy.
Charlotte opened the door to her room, she drooped at the sight that someone had stabbed her beanbag. Peanuts fled all over the pink carpet. “Ah”! cried Charlotte, “my bean bag – someone killed it”. The beanbag just sat there.
As I walked into the room I stepped onto a scrunched up piece of paper. I looked up and to my surprise I saw socks on the floor, pants lying across the desk and an actual rat stuffed inside the pillow case.
Sometimes I really hate this guy and I have to live with him. Every time I come back to my dorm there is food, clothes and I’m starting to lose some stuff. Last week I found a half eaten pizza in my bed. Now I know how my dad felt.
Anna was trying to find the right clothing to wear to work. She was getting furious and started screaming, “Why don’t I have any good clothes to wear?” She was gripping her hands now and started to throw her clothes on the bedroom floor. It was a long time until she found the right clothing.
“I’m home from work,” I say as I walk into the living room. No ones home! “Ah” I scream, there are scratches on the couch and blood stains all over the white walls. The glass table is smashed into a hundred pieces on the floor. I drop all of my stuff and run around the house to find out more.
I walked into my room after a long day of school. Clothes were scattered all over the floor. I wondered who did this. The carpet was sticky and the cupboard door was open. All of the clothes were falling out. I think I am going to vomit. I wish I never walked into this room.
I walked into my room after a day of school and saw a whole heap of mess. There were socks all over the floor, paper and all my toys on the floor.
Makayla walked through the hall and opened her bedroom door. As she entered, the floor creaked and she screamed. Her dog Jackie had been in there and she had terrorised the room! Pillows were ripped, toys destroyed, clothes were everywhere and Jackie chewed Makayla’s favourite dress that she was going to wear at her friend’s party. Jackie sighed and Makayla was furious.
My brphter and I walk in front of our room. I open the door, what do I see a big mess. There are socks and clothes everywhere. There is a juice spilt on my bed. Then I hear a little laugh. I look at my brother and he has a bright face.
I walked into Josh’s bedroom and I almost vomit. It was disgusting, there were clothes everywhere and a week old sandwich on his desk. His blankets were everywhere.
There were smashed windows, confetti all over the floor with juice stains that made the fluffy carpet all sticky and gross. Even the pillows were ripped. Then that night her mum opened the door and her jaw dropped to the ground. Jenny knew she was in trouble.